"I am very surprised how unhappy the writing is... when the feeling over at my side is totally different." - about my writing

My reply after 1456 days, the feeling at my side is the same as yours, from the very first day till now. Those were one of the happiest days of my life. I am fine now and hope you are too. Wish both your life and my life a great future.

I'm Moving Too
Most of my friends are at xanga now. I gotta go too.

Rotten Apple II

Miss Stranger Is Sad Today
She's very upset today. Something between her and her bf. That's what happens to a relationship when it's starting to grow old, I guess. A couple of years down the road, and you will find yourself with more and more crossroads... But hope it isn't the case for all couples...
Nevertheless, it kinda makes me feel sad too. Hope she will be happy again after a sleep.

Not Even On The Train
I've wasted my 3 yrs in poly. I wasted 3 yrs learning almost nothing. I'm so full of regrets now. Fuck myself. I remember myself used to be so keen to learn, so hardworking. What the fuck ever happen to me? I screwed up my own life.
I wanted more. There's no more time to waste, I had to take a faster train now.

Talents
Saw Miss Stranger's website last night. It's really cool and that's even a lot of versions of it. The pictures are properly chosen and the colors are so correctly selected. I'm impressed. After looking at her designs, they almost make me want to delete all the sites I did. Arghh... makes me feel so inferior.
Wanted very much to share these beautiful designs with you all by including the links here but guess, without her agreement and knowledge, I shouldn't.

Saw Her
I saw her! The last time that I saw her was probably about 2 or 3 years back. Now that I saw her tonite, I almost couldn't recognise her, this very old friend of mine! How much had she change me? How much had this person turn my life around? But now, I couldn't even remember which uni she was studying in. Some part of me even tells me that I didn't want to remember, but which is it, I couldn't be sure. She was comin down the damn escalator and I was going up. My friend could hear her calling my name, but I, who was just looking around, to my back, to my side, anywhere but just not her direction, simply couldnt. And then the alert from my friend about this "somebody" calling me came, but by then, as if the escalator had stop for that very second, she was already beside me. Surprise or shock, there wasn't time, a wave and "hi" sealed everything. Before I know it, as if I had been unconscious for the previous few second, we had passed each other! Yeah, passed but even so, we are still going our different directions. Ha, how ironic!
It's nice to see you again, I thought to myself. "Time does heal all wounds", I carried on and didn't try to look back. I don't even care.

He's a guy
Yeah, that long hair anime person on the left is a guy. No, he's never a girl.

My Gf Has Changed
She's different now. People do change over the years and time. And they change either for the better or the worse. Though which my gf has changed to, I couldn't tell. Anger. She's full of anger nowadays. Used to be a very forgiving and good tempered girl, "too forgiving" sometimes I will describe her, but now, she has got that hatred and anger in her everyday that you can notice without even trying to. I think mainly it's because of her work. "It's a messy world." she will sometimes tell me. I guess she has turned hard, and a bit tougher now, which I guess, may not be that bad after all. She would sometimes ask me to lend her one of my rock cds (especially Marilyn Manson) to her as she had heard how I got released from my sadness, anger just by listening to them. She wanted to let go as well. But... no, I wouldn't want to lend her even after I had recommended and complained about how enthralling and dominating rock music had sounded to me for the past 3 and a half or 4 years with her. Bon Jovi and those lighter rock are okay but never bands like Marilyn Manson. I do like them but I don't know and can't imagine what their lyrics like "fucking bitch", "death is our god" will do to her. Damn, I ain't gonna try.

They were beginning to form now
I used to have a small hawker centre downstair just across the road but it was demolished now. Now what stood there was a piece of open grassland. Nowadays, I can manage to catch glimpses of young kids playing soccer there. That left me with thoughts... play, boys, play as much as you can before you grew up and lost all of this to time. Enjoy the feeling of it... the friends... that special unexplainable understanding between the team mates that just arises atumatically and without warnings or plans to even have them in you. The winking of an eye and others will read your mind like an opened book. Sometimes, even better, there's no need for such. Just played the ball there as you know he will definitely be there to recieve the service. Ha, how I miss those days! If only relationships in real life could be like that...

Finland 0 Italy 2
The first thing I got on my mind the very moment I woke up this morning is What had happened to the match between Italy and Finland? What's the final score? The last time I heard about the score line last night is 1-0 to Italy, a goal from Totti, but what's the final score? Yeah, 2-0. Italy won. A goal each from Totti and Del Piero. They move closer to European qualification now.

Birds
Attended a talk from AIA today (or rather yesterday). No, it's not about insurance... instead, it's about some career talks. Or at least, they made it sound like one. Nevertheless, that's not important. What's important is that we did some stupid survey about what type of bird (serious!) we are. It's a short 20 questions survey to determine what type of personalities you have... or should I now, call the survey, personality test. 4 types of bird... 1)Eagle - confident, arrogant etc. 2)Peacock - cartoon, humorous, like to talk... 3)Dove - shy, quiet... 4)Owl - wise and thinking. Oh, actually that's just my brief descriptons about the birds, there were more. Guess what I'm categorised under? I think I'm under none... I'm almost about 25% for each bird though the eagle won by a slight margin. Yeah, very slight. So I guess I'm still under "don't know what bird". Anyway, I don't totally believe in such test as u can't just separate a man's personalities into 4 different categories. Yeah, to narrow down I know, but that's not the way, in fact I felt that each and every single person is so very different that if there's really a need for sensible categories, the quantity will be countless. But still, the important lesson learnt today is that, I think it's not important to know what kind of stupid bird you are but what kind of bird others are. And so you can work on them accordingly... oh, I know it will be damn true and useful when we start to work. Some ideas... 1) Eagle likes to be respected and all you need to do is to obey instructions if he's your boss. 2) Peacock. Oh, that's easy. Allow him to talk more and talk more with him too... the things he likes of course. 3)Dove. Show concern... 4)Owl. They're dangerous. Nevertheless, to know these knowledge about them is one thing but to apply is another. Yeah, I know you know, sometimes feelings, yeah, damn feelings, they just get the upper hand of you...

Searching...
Went to city hall today to have my dinner. Since I have finished reading Blood And Gold and is craving for more, I went down to the MPH bookstore at city link. Hmm... eyes went searching under the friction column. Anne Rice, Anne Rice... yeah, found it, found all the books that the bookstore has of her at a corner but no signs of her latest, "Blackwood Farm". It's really not easy to find this book, I must say. I havent even seen the cover yet (though saw it on the net, but never in real life... just yet). Gotta dig this book out for the sake of my stranger friend (she's nuts about vampires) and me as well. The worst, I shall buy it online... Nevertheless, I saw "The Vampire Armand" and I really had the intention to buy it that very moment but later decided that I should go to a few other bookstores before buying as, you never know, I might find Blackwood Farm! So, I put down the book reluctantly and ah... recalling that that's another MPH at Raffles City, went down to check out after doing all the stuff I was needed to do. No luck again... last chance, Times Bookstore at Suntec! And again, no signs of the book. Too bad, in the end, I bought Queen Of The Damned, yeah, because, there's no "The Vampire Armand" over at Times and I felt too tired after the walking and walking thus deciding not to walk all the way back to the damn bookstore to get the book. Nevertheless, I will get Armand one day. I wanted to know what really happened to him after he's captured and what really made him turn his belief. What was he thinking? Another observation about the books, I also noticed that "Pandora" was not easy to be seen. I only saw it at borders once which was an old and torn book. Maybe it's all a coincident that the bookstores I had visited didn't have them. Who knows?

I Can't Get To Sleep
I tried my very best, before tonite, I told myself to sleep early tonite and not stay up too late. I tried, I tried my best but I just can't get to sleep. The forcing of myself to sleep is getting me nowhere. So, I get myself up and sat down here to write... hope it will make me tired and I will be able to fall sleep soon. Finished reading Blood and Gold... Marius and Pandora... and yes, Bianca, what happened to her after that? I don't noe if she's covered in the earlier volumes but even though I noe I can get the answer from some internet sources, I somehow choose not to.

Keepin Up
Overall, today's outing is a short one with lunch, movie, borders and then home. Not much conversation today but at least still tryin to keep up with how the guys r doing. Had a chat with Alex (who went to borders with me) and he told me bout his future plans in the uni... Henry's pretty sick today so tats nothing much and so he went home early today. As for Weiqun, I was making fun on him bout this belladonna forburr(dunnoe if i have spelled it rite) and him. Haha... but no signs of denial from him...!

Sir
Ah... yes, saw somebody at orchard mrt control when I'm on my way back. It's my OC! Tall, burly, muscular, fat (yeah, all in one I will say) and in his early thirties. Mine, mine, never thought I will see him here, outside in the civilian world, and never thought I will see him at any mrt control. I mean to say, doesn't he own a car? And I thought it has became a common portrait that old sign-on personnels own a car. I always have that impression on "sign-ons" tough I know it's never true for all of them. 1)he really doesnt have a car. 2)he doesnt have a license. 3)his car has some problems... lent away, broke down (this is the least possible explanation.) 4)He has a car but it's not easy to park at a place like orchard and so if he lived nearby, he might as well take mrt. (I was gettin out of way, I dont even have any idea bout where he lives.) But I will go for 2 that he doesnt have a license or doesnt like to drive (oh... some ppl does) cause I believe that to get into financial problems for him wouldn't be easy. 5 or 6 thousand a month, government job, and government even provide grants for houses and stuff. Sigh... he looked at me with those expected raised-eyebrows eyes, he always did tat, as if I have done something wrong. Nevertheless, we passed a few lines of hi-bye words and went our separate ways. With one ear phone still attached, the other down for politeness (should be 2 but nah, I couldnt care less)I couldnt even make out wat he was tokin about. Kinda feel quilty after tat, I mean I was leavin bout a month or two and might not have the chance to see him again, should have try to know him as a person more, instead of an OC. Guilt, guilt. Sometimes... u noe, it can be real lonely at the top.

I Feel Like Writing Today
Went Orchard for a show today... Phone Booth. It's a short one, probably about one and a half hour, but no doubt, it's a gd one. I got no idea why my friend had told me that this show sucks. No way, I would give it a 4 stars out of 5. But... it's another "watch once interestin, watch twice boring" show, you wouldnt want to catch it again after watchin it. It's the prop tat attracts and nothing else, tat's why. After the show, I went borders to try my luck on Blackwood Farm. No, no luck again though the staff at the information counter was very helpful. Saw Queen Of The Damned and Pandora instead, yeah, the books I have eyed for some time, but dropped the idea of buyin after seein all of the copies of them in terrible conditions. Crumbled, old and yes, even torn. Bad luck, got nothing in the end and had to make my way back empty handed.

Long Long Break
Gosh, I think I'll be at home every day for the whole of this week. DONT know wat I can do... Maybe I will get myself a new book to read since Blood And Gold is almost to the end... or maybe I can go through wat I had learned in the past, the programmin and stuff... seriously I haven't really touch them and I can hardly remember much. Damn me.

Dreams
I guess now it's time to wake up. Short dreams are ok but long dreams are dangerous. They could make you sleep forever.

Blogger Sucks
Yo, yo, yo, thanks, Blogger, you're really pissing me off...

Marius And Pandora
Marius and Pandora... Read about Pandora travelling around trying to find Marius (she went to Eudoxia) really touches my heart. Hope they would meet soon. Oh, black and gold is getting better and better, can't wait to finish everything off. But the very moment of finishing the last word of the book will be a strange one. The accomplishment and happiness of finishing a good book AS WELL AS the grief and disappointment of losing one because reading it the second time won't bring about the excitement of reading it first time. Contradiction! Yeah, you know life is always one...

Spending A Lot
For the past one or two weeks, I have been spending too much... Guess it has amounted to a few hundred bucks. The ear phones, final fantasy X2 dvd, food (yes! food) and Mary Star Of The Sea (for today)... and of course, for the rest of my money, I've got not a single damn idea where they have gone to. Sigh, maybe having so many off days ain't such a good idea after all. Oh, I know that's an poor excuse... honestly.

Mary Star Of The Sea
Declarations of faith.

Thoughts
Sometimes I juz hope I could sit down quietly somewhere and study all the people who walk past me. The way they walk, the way they move, the face they wore... everything. Where could the each and everyone of them have lived? What had all these strangers went through? Are they happy with their life or are they just damn disgusted with it? What would it be like if I had known these people? Somehow... somehow I found out by doing and wondering about all this, I could just lift my spirit up... especially when I'm feeling down. I know somebody somewhere will think I'm wasting my time away by doing all this but... I know there will be somebody out there who understand and share what I feel.

???
Don't feel like writing too much today, only craving to read more. I bet something's wrong with me today again... Period? If only anybody could read my stupid mind...

Bought A Ear Phone
Yeah, bought a sony ear phone for some 30 bucks. Coz there ain't no cure for my previous headphone anymore.

Anger Is A Weakness
Man! Ain't I just love this line?

Crippled
Something bad happened! Something real bad happened. It's not about life... it's not about me... it's about my discman! Fuck! Guess it's the best word I could use to describe my feelings now. Some may see it as a minor problem but to me... you see, I just can't live without my dicsman when I'm outside. I need music. I hate to be alone and quiet (well, though i do enjoy being alone with rock music). My discman had a fall. Yeah, yeah, I managed to fix it, no problem but... but... it's crippled (don't ask me what makes a crippled discman, ok ). That's not all. Hope it was. My headphone was crippled too. Damn! Only one of the phone has output, the other is purely "dead". Damn sad... hey, I bought the sony headphone for 50 bucks. Sigh... what's next? Yeah, right, perfect, now this damn heart of mine is crippled too.

Belldandy



Ah... My Goddess...

Mileage Update!!!
Current Mileage = 4350km (2650km more to go)
That's times that I almost felt like giving everything up...

Blood And Gold
Bought a book by Anne Rice before I booked in yesterday. I had to get something to read. I had to unstress myself from the long hours of driving everyday. So I went down to the nearest popular and headed straight to find her books. Damn popular! I could only find myself a limited number of her books. I remember seeing "Interview With A Vampire", "Maverick" (guess this does not belong to the vampire chronicles) and of course the book I bought "Blood And Gold". That's all, even though I saw some erotica by her too (can't remember the title). Hmm... everybody is giving me the "Hey, it's so unlike you." or "Are you sure?" look when I was reading my new book in camp. Haha... but true enough, I'm not the type who would read "thick books with small words" and be seen with my head stucked inside a load of papers. Throughout my entire life, I only managed to complete one book and it's not that thick too (I figured it's better that I don't mention the page number). It's called "Outsiders", and it's a literature book too! Ha, but I do love the book a lot. It's about the life of greasers, the lower class, and I have read it a few times already. Haha... miracle, miracle.

Had A Good Dream
I had a very good dream last night. I can't really remember much about the dream but I sure feel good (can't use any other word to describe) when I woke up. It was about me and someone else. I just can't remember who that someone else was but had that feeling of "an very old friend coming back" in her. Hmmm... who could it be?

Sorry Henry
As mentioned below, I'm damn tired! So tomorrow when u gave me a morning call, don't be surprised to hear me say "Hey. I don't think I can make it this time." We'll see...

Mileage
4218km (2782km more to go)
I'm dead beat. Drive, drive, drive and drive. It's the type of feeling u get "I know i'll knock off the moment I lay down and close my eyes." The afternoon shift is the worse. The damn jeep is open and I will get all the sunlight!

Zwan - Mary Star Of The Sea
My my my!!! It's the 2nd generation of The Smashing Pumpkins. A new band lead by Billy Corgan! Damn, I really must try to control over this one and not spend too much money. But... watched the mtv of "Honestly" on the MTV channel, a great song with Billy Cogan singing "I feel love, honestly" and a gal (in the band too) playing one of the guitars. Hmmm, I must say it's really cool.

Alone At Home Again
My mom's going out soon and I'll be left alone...

Can't Put Image Up
Damn... The pics I wanted to put up is in my geocities account and it juz ain't working. Too bad, I think geocities block image links to other server.

Drive
I'm going back in again. Sigh, it's really fast. And I'll be back to drive tml again. Morning starts, night time ends. Gotta meet the 7000km mark before time runs out. About 3000km more to go... (Thank god I got the chance the drive the past 2 yrs so I got a place in the sun now.) All these for my civilian license. Wish me luck, pal, I need it.

Had A Quarrel Again
Damn. Don't ever say anything bout the car...

Bruce Almighty
Jim Carrey!!! What's more, Jennifer Aniston! Haha! I nearly laugh my head off for this show. Nearly cried too, the last part is very touching. Just imagine you are god and you have to answer to your girlfriend's prayer which is please help her forget her boyfriend. Geez... This show is highly recommended! Go catch it if you haven't!

Depressed
I'm feeling kinda depress today. I dunnoe why, probably it's the effects of the beer. Just wanna listen to some soft guitar. Sometimes, I feel as if I am wasting my time and life away. About 20 and a few years down the road, I take a look beside me and all the things that other people have achieved, I can't help thinkin... wat the hell have I achieved? I feel like dying today though I'm afraid of it. Just who can help me?

Milan Wins The Champions League
Hi-5! Shevchenko rules!

My License
Guess I have a lot of bad news today. One of them is that I may not be able to post to MT line. Fuck. That means I will have to work extra hard to drive everyday to prevent my civilian license from being blown away. Yeah, about 250km a day to try to reach the 7000km I needed. Another bad news! May be posted somewhere else so that means my time is very limited now. Damn it! I want my license even if it means the fucking hard way, I'm gonna do it.
Current mileage - 3976km (i need 3024km more)

Back
I'm back finally!!! Came back late because of some stupid special dinner over there. Had some beer at the dinner and I'm feeling pretty high and tired now. Will need some rest, probably will turn in early today. Hee... I'll try coz I don't wanna waste a bk out day sleeping. And yes, the poem I was working on was completed. All these happened while I was in camp. It came after a long time.

A Portion Of My New Poem
Been trying to write the whole afternoon and came up with this part here. As it stands now, this is the beginning part of my new poem but it may change when all the other parts come in at a later time. Haven't decide a name for this piece yet.

I'm at the rear end bottom of my heart
Beaten by the beauty of what I have never seen
There's just too much little pieces of nothing here
That I believe this dreamer will forever sleep

Here I am, I have been... (the rest, you have to wait)

A Night Without Armor
Think I'll be going out these few days to buy the book (probably during nights off). I need something to get me back to the right track to write again. The month of May ain't helping at all so I thought to myself, maybe Jewel could help. Maybe she could give me back the inspiration that I have been searching. But guess Jewel Kilcher's poetry is of a different class so it might not assist me at all. The type I would call professional (mine's pretty simple). Jewel is somebody who will keep me with a lot thoughts... Finally, I'm beginning to appreciate such poems though I won't really understand them. Maybe going back camp to feel the emptiness will help. Now I'm listening to the radio bout some stupid song with the singer singing "Underwear underwear" or rather anywhere anywhere. Sometimes, stupid things like that could really make my day. Haha at least now, I'm smiling.

Going Back Camp
Finally, finally, after a very long break, I'm going back to camp again. Yeah, it's tonite. I'm sure I will miss the civilian life...

Had A Gd Game Today
I went for a soccer match this morning with Jinsheng's friends. It's not the circle of friends who played in Clementi. This group is from the same university (ntu) in which Jinsheng and Alex studied in. Saw a lot of old faces from my secondary school. Kelin and Weixi. Wow, Kelin is still as good as he used to be. I saw a lot of new faces too. Saw a former njc school team and a former jjc captain, they are all in ntu now. And the game against them is a good one. We played well today and I managed to score 2 goals, finally breaking my goal draught. I played with a more attacking attitude today (tat's wat Henry said). Everything is going well today, smooth play, good weather, until a group of girls came to play basketball. Oh mine, had to leave but the girls were understanding enough to let us finish our game. Hope to keep up my form today though my dribbling wasn't really up to standard today.

Went To Bugis Today
Went to look for some stuff today but can't seem to find it... tough luck. But it's ok, guess i will wait and look for it at a later time. The weather is also getting real warm nowadays and everybody is starting to fall sick. It's making me worried. I'm feeling kind of weird recently. I just dunnoe but it seems that I'm not paying attention to the things I'm doing and not as focus as I should be. Kept wondering about a lot of things...

What's Wrong With Me?
I think I'm going to be in deep shit. Hell to it.

Weiqun's Birthday
I went out today to celebrate Weiqun's birthday. He is currently studying in nus architecture. It was supposed to be 6 yrs. Wow... master, that's why. In the end, he is deciding to change course after a yr. He said being a architect it's not what he wanted... yeah, after a yr in the course, he understand more about it, i guess. For the birthday present, we bought a small adidas bag for him and we chose that over a pendant and soccer ball because I guess it's more practical. He would use the bag more often, I believe. It's kinda special today coz we seldom celebrate each others' birthday or rather never. We went to old airport road for dinner... hmmm... steamboat and after which we went to suntec sky garden! We bought a cake for him and we ate it there... Haha... he told us that this is his happiest birthday... We were chatting about a lot of things today but mainly it's about the past. Today really brings back a lot of memories. I wonder... what will happen next year? Will everything still be the same? One thing is for sure... I'll be out to work. Hope I can get a job by then. And hope everybody will still be ok.

Bought A Fila Bag Today
Ha. I went shopping today. Bought a dark blue t-shirt and a grey fila duffel bag. Hee. I like the fila bag a lot. Guess I'll be starting to wear sporty these few days. I saw a secondary school friend today and he happens to be my BMT sergeant as well. Small world. I talked to him for a while and found out one of my other friend had a bike accident recently. I'm shocked! I'm not informed at all. But I felt relieved when he told me it's only a minor accident and my friend wasn't badly hurt. Thank god!

I'm Not In Shape!!!
Looked into the mirror today before going out and saw something. "I'm not in shape anymore!" I used to like my body during the period juz after my scout course but after i got the chicken pox, i lost my shape. Hope to get it back someday.

Quarrel Again
I have had enough!!! I am not a fucking ball! I'm not coming back again.

Those Stupid Porn Site
They juz signed my guestbook and this is not the first time. Fuck them! I had to delete their message every time.

Damn! My Banner Got Rejected
Damn, damn, damn! And I have to do a new one again. Send wat I've done to my gf (remember the website assignment?) and she rejected my banner! Lucky all the other stuff are okay with her. Sometimes I really felt she treated me like a maid.

Garbage On MTV
Saw Garbage sang on the mtv channel juz now. It was a mini-concert which was presented by mtv itself, i think. Saw the lead singer, Shirley Manson, wearing a white singlet and braless. Wow... But her lastest hairdo is a bad one. She used to have long hair and it looked nice on her but this time, she had short hair. Hmmm, not as feminine as before.

Marilyn Manson
Some people just hates Marilyn Manson! They said their songs suck and their image is very disturbing. Yeah, Marilyn Manson, himself had breast implants and he removed his backbone just because it would allow him to perform oral sex on himself. Yucks!!! Disgusting!!! Believe me they really have very disturbing pictures in their album. But i felt their songs ain't as bad as u think. I personally like their drum beats. Their drum beats are very unique and most of their songs are about sex and violence. I'm not sayin I like violence. You see, when i listen to their songs, i will just pretend that the lyrics are non-existence, tat's all. Nevertheless, they've got some fantastic slow songs as well (sure! slow songs! No joking). Yeah, songs like "Disassociative", "Speed Of Pain" and the best of all "Lamb Of God". I like "Lamb Of God" a lot. It's a pretty sad one and the lyrics are meaningful, i felt. It's sayin about how this world is havin too much violence but still, no matter wat we do and how we deny, nothing can change this fact. Yeah, tat's why they say nothing's gonna change the world. Don't have any friends who listen to Marilyn Manson, the only person I know who listens to it is my gf's friend. And it's a gal! I learn that from my gf and I don't really noe that gal but it's thru her recommendation tat i got interested in MariIyn Manson. I can't imagine any gal listenin to such music. It really makes me wonder wat kind of a person is her. Maybe she's just like me, just ignoring the lyrics when listening to them.

Spend My Whole Day Looking At This Computer
I'm spendin my whole damn day only lookin at this computer! I'm doin my gf's website assignment and I want to finish everything by today and not drag any longer. Finally, done everything (the rest, my gf will be finishing them) and can relax a bit now though I will be expecting more work to come any moment, haha. My icq is havin problems recently and it really drives me crazy. It can send outgoing msgs thru in the beginning but then after sometime (a short one somemore), it won't be able to send anymore. I will have to disconnect and connect again so that i can send again but that wouldn't solve the whole problem. I will have to connect and connect times and again! Will reinstall it someday when I got back my program cd which i lent to my gf. BUT... she says she lost it! (How on earth did tat happen to a 20+ grown-up) I got a lot of very useful and rare programs in it... Hope she can find it or I will have a lot of problems gettin back all the stuff.

Bad Weather
It rained almost everyday. Now it's so warm that I can hardly sleep anymore... It seems to go on forever!!! Please, can I have a break? I'm getting sick.

Good News
The jeeps pissed me off some times! But finally, they give me some good news. I might be posted to the MT line as from September 1st. Whoa, that would mean I will get my license by end of this year. Cool...

Civilian Course
Gotta write more now cause I'll be going back camp again... yeah, tonite, but will be back by Tuesday nite and will only need to book in next Sunday!!! I'm starting to feel like a civilian nowadays.

My Fashion Consultant
Hmmm... tight fitting t-shirts, tight jeans. That's what i used to wear . Haha, made me feel like a rocker back then. Not anymore now, my gf says i look like shit in them and says i didn't have any bit of fashion sense. Now most of the clothes i bought are selected by her... She's like my fashion consultant. Yeah yeah yeah, i noe, i noe.

Had A Screwed Up Match Today
Fuck, i had a fucking poor game today! I just can't seem to find the right touches today. I mean, Henry, was playing well and showed dominance in the midfield and Weiqun, scoring a cracker for my team. They all played well except me. Shit! Hope i will have some of my form back next time. Come to think of it, hadn't play soccer in camp for a long time. I really miss playing soccer in camp, playing with Jinsheng and gang (like today) is far too stressful.

My Galfriend's Assignment
Thank god the design's almost complete. Left onli the pictures, buttons to edit.. but WHEN should i continue? I should have started on it by now! Somehow my brain's saying "I noe if i start, it will be another endless hours". :p

Damn My Brain
I just can't write poems anymore. Tried writing one about vampire in the afternoon but could onli come up with a few lines. Even worst, I intended to write something romantic at first but ended up writing something funny instead. Vampires, vampires, hmmm... a tough one. I better come up with something this few days...

Saw My Primary School Friend
Yeah, i saw my primary school friend today by coincident and we took the same bus. He's none other than "Fat Boy" (not fat anymore). He isn't categorise under the long lost friend list cause we would meet up for soccer match very often so there wasn't any kind of awkward feelings together then. Yeah, we sat together and had a short chat before he got off. We chatted about wat I'm going to do when I ord, and my same old answer, find a job first and study part time! He's in ntu now studying accountancy so there wasn't any special plan for him except to work cause i know he surely wouldn't want to further study. Ha, I have know him for a long time. After i reached the interchange, i saw another friend (hi-bye friend actually) who has always played soccer at my place too! He's a malay, I don't noe his name, and he's in his mid 20s or early 30s. He's working now but i have got no idea at where or as wat (I mean, at his age, he has to be working). After seeing him, had a penny for my thoughts, wondering wat will happen to me when i reach his age. Curious. Come to think of it, time flies!!! I will be out of the STUPID SAF (Stupid And Fools) very soon and guess my life will start to change again. Hope it will change for the better this time.

Can't Write Gd Poems Anymore
I can't really write gd poems nowadays. My gf seems to get sick of my stuff, always telling me they suck. Maybe it's because i'm writing less and less poems about love. Hmmm, I'm startin to like funny poems these days.

My Girlfriend's Ok Now
My gf's ok now i guess. She finally picked up my phone and started to call me names. That means everything's ok. I mean, when she starts to call me "asshole, stupid dog or useless bum", she's beginning to recover. That's always the case. I can really tell from the things she said if she's really fuming or not. Haha, different names will mean different things. Asshole is gd news. She said she will forgive me if I help her complete her website assignment. Gd bargain huh? I agree to it or rather i'm forced to agree to it. Now, i will have hard times, hate to do website when i don't have any mood to do so cause it really makes me feel like I'm screwing myself up sitting in front of the stupid computer for hours. Shit, feel like a soccer ball being kick around! Yeah, I do like soccer, but i like to kick one, not being one.

Back And Nearly Drunk, I Guess
Went to play pool with my friends just now and guess I'm slowly improving. Have a nice game today and managed to discover a good place for cheap and delicious chicken rice. It's juz besides selegie kopitiam! I tried the white chicken today and hope I will get another chance to try the fried one. Hmmm...., very tasty. Later on when I was about to go home, i suddenly got the urge to buy a can of beer and so i went to the nearest 7-11 to get one. Ha, took it down one shot and felt a bit dizzy after that. I'm not sure if i was drunk but i'm sure i don't feel too good. The only thing i could concentrate after that it's listenin to my good old disc man. Wow, rock music never sounded so nice. Probably it's because of the beer. Everything after that seems like a dream, saw a gal without wearing any bra taking the same bus with me. Took a few curious glance at her but felt even more dizzy. I took a bathe immediately after I reached home and after that it's me here, haha, writing all this junk. Not feeling too well now, guess I will go for a break. Ok, ok, I promise i will write more interesting things next time instead of all this rubbish... See ya.

Finally Meeting My Friends
It's been long or rather seldom that i went out with my friends (minus those in camp who i can see almost everyday). Most of the time, i will be out wih my gf. Not today tough, coz she's still pretty angry with me and i think the best way now is to leave her alone to cool. Today!!!, i'm going out with my friends, needs a break myself too. Ha, went to sms all my secondary two buddies in the afternoon, "dinner anyone?", but to my disappointment, only one of them could make it (and tat's Jinsheng). Yeah, we're suppose to go for dinner at maxwell, but it ended up to be a ktv sesssion. And now, they'll be meeting early at about 3 for the ktv probably with alex or chor sheng and i guess i will have to count myself out. I felt a bit turned off there coz i really suck big time in singing, the only song which i felt i can sing well is "Vulnerable". and that's the only song. So in the end, will be meeting my camp buddies for pool (doesn't meant i don't suck in pool, seems to suck in anything nowadays). Yeah, meeting everyday and still meeting today but I probably choose them because there are more people there and it would be louder. Loud will keep your brain dead so you won't think too much. Ha, my stupid philosophy! Nevertheless, hope i will be having a good time today and hope my gf will have hers too.

Not Again
It's a quarrel again. So much that i'm beginning to feel numb now. Damn it, spoils my mood and now i couldn't write... needs a break.

Juve Thru To The Final
Here i am, back writing again. Probably it's bcoz there's nobody else at home except me. Damn quiet over here and i had to prepare my own dinner later. Yucks. Guess you could just let me write as much as i could coz when i'm back to my camp again, i will have to wait. Wanna talk bout the soccer match last night, Juventus beat Real Madrid to reach the final of the champions league! Nobody would expect tat especially when Juve lost their 1st leg to Real 1-2. Nevertheless, they came back to surprise the world to beat Madrid 3-1 and it could could easily well be 4-0 or 5-0. Now, it's an all Italian final. I mean, i wouldn't be writing if it's Man Unt or any other team, i'm writing only bcoz it's about Italy. I have been an italian fan since young, whether it's the national team, club team, i'm nuts about them. Now they really make me proud since i have been waiting for this day for a long time and since no italian club had made it to the quarter-finals of champions league this past few years. I will have a great time at the final which was 2 weeks from now. Now, let's see if it's Juventus or AC Milan!

Simple Plan And Marilyn Manson
I bought cds again! And tat is last nite. This time 2 at one time. I bought a lot of cds and my galfriend says I'm wasting my money. Yeah, i agree but that is only if i buy pop album! Haha, i mean it's a waste of money to buy cd but not rock cds. I must be talking rubbish... but tat's me, simply love rock!!! Yeah, I just can't resist anything relating to rock. Bon Jovi, Poison, Aerosimth, Def Leppard, Guns 'n' Roses... i could go on forever. Bought the album "no pads, no helmets... just balls" by simple plan yesterday and i feel it rocks! I would give it a 8.5 out of 10. Just went to cduniverse for some samples a few days back and managed to came across some reviews about the album. I can't believe 4 out of the 5 person who gave reviews (yes, only 5) said it sucked. Had to convince myself then so I went to listen to the sound clips and all the songs sounded pretty cool to me. After buying and listening to it, i say again, it rocks, especially songs like "Addicted" and "Perfect"! Those reviewers must be those poppers(wat's tat?) and not rockers. Or am i just purely "no taste"? I mean, if you like rock, you will surely love this album. Dun believe, you can try. I will tell u more about Marilyn Manson soon, man. Gotta start on the template i promised my galfriend... or we both will be in trouble.

Designing Again
My galfriend has an assignment to complete. She is required to do a website! Good news, it emphasizes more on the design rather than programming. And tat means... i got some homework to do too. Assignment of my own, lecturer, my galfriend. But thank god, it's only the template this time. And haha suppose to complete it by today and now here I am, writin and writing... wasting my time away. My brain's dried out. Can't think of any idea bout the website... suppose to give a corporate feel. Only thing i can think of now it's dark blue, cars and lines. But no worry, i will try to complete by tonite or rather i MUST complete by tonite. Hope i will get her something real cool.

First Posting
Hello there, this is my first posting. Got this idea of starting a blog from a stranger. Haha, yes, a stranger whom I was talking to for a while now. Went to check out her blog recently and find it pretty interesting and so, there it is, my blog. Gonna try to update as often as possible, probably once a week, coz I'm currently serving national service (protecting the country - tat's what they say, I say it's wasting time) and couldn't get home as much as I could.