Miss Stranger Is Sad Today
She's very upset today. Something between her and her bf. That's what happens to a relationship when it's starting to grow old, I guess. A couple of years down the road, and you will find yourself with more and more crossroads... But hope it isn't the case for all couples...
Nevertheless, it kinda makes me feel sad too. Hope she will be happy again after a sleep.

Not Even On The Train
I've wasted my 3 yrs in poly. I wasted 3 yrs learning almost nothing. I'm so full of regrets now. Fuck myself. I remember myself used to be so keen to learn, so hardworking. What the fuck ever happen to me? I screwed up my own life.
I wanted more. There's no more time to waste, I had to take a faster train now.

Talents
Saw Miss Stranger's website last night. It's really cool and that's even a lot of versions of it. The pictures are properly chosen and the colors are so correctly selected. I'm impressed. After looking at her designs, they almost make me want to delete all the sites I did. Arghh... makes me feel so inferior.
Wanted very much to share these beautiful designs with you all by including the links here but guess, without her agreement and knowledge, I shouldn't.

Saw Her
I saw her! The last time that I saw her was probably about 2 or 3 years back. Now that I saw her tonite, I almost couldn't recognise her, this very old friend of mine! How much had she change me? How much had this person turn my life around? But now, I couldn't even remember which uni she was studying in. Some part of me even tells me that I didn't want to remember, but which is it, I couldn't be sure. She was comin down the damn escalator and I was going up. My friend could hear her calling my name, but I, who was just looking around, to my back, to my side, anywhere but just not her direction, simply couldnt. And then the alert from my friend about this "somebody" calling me came, but by then, as if the escalator had stop for that very second, she was already beside me. Surprise or shock, there wasn't time, a wave and "hi" sealed everything. Before I know it, as if I had been unconscious for the previous few second, we had passed each other! Yeah, passed but even so, we are still going our different directions. Ha, how ironic!
It's nice to see you again, I thought to myself. "Time does heal all wounds", I carried on and didn't try to look back. I don't even care.

He's a guy
Yeah, that long hair anime person on the left is a guy. No, he's never a girl.

My Gf Has Changed
She's different now. People do change over the years and time. And they change either for the better or the worse. Though which my gf has changed to, I couldn't tell. Anger. She's full of anger nowadays. Used to be a very forgiving and good tempered girl, "too forgiving" sometimes I will describe her, but now, she has got that hatred and anger in her everyday that you can notice without even trying to. I think mainly it's because of her work. "It's a messy world." she will sometimes tell me. I guess she has turned hard, and a bit tougher now, which I guess, may not be that bad after all. She would sometimes ask me to lend her one of my rock cds (especially Marilyn Manson) to her as she had heard how I got released from my sadness, anger just by listening to them. She wanted to let go as well. But... no, I wouldn't want to lend her even after I had recommended and complained about how enthralling and dominating rock music had sounded to me for the past 3 and a half or 4 years with her. Bon Jovi and those lighter rock are okay but never bands like Marilyn Manson. I do like them but I don't know and can't imagine what their lyrics like "fucking bitch", "death is our god" will do to her. Damn, I ain't gonna try.

They were beginning to form now
I used to have a small hawker centre downstair just across the road but it was demolished now. Now what stood there was a piece of open grassland. Nowadays, I can manage to catch glimpses of young kids playing soccer there. That left me with thoughts... play, boys, play as much as you can before you grew up and lost all of this to time. Enjoy the feeling of it... the friends... that special unexplainable understanding between the team mates that just arises atumatically and without warnings or plans to even have them in you. The winking of an eye and others will read your mind like an opened book. Sometimes, even better, there's no need for such. Just played the ball there as you know he will definitely be there to recieve the service. Ha, how I miss those days! If only relationships in real life could be like that...

Finland 0 Italy 2
The first thing I got on my mind the very moment I woke up this morning is What had happened to the match between Italy and Finland? What's the final score? The last time I heard about the score line last night is 1-0 to Italy, a goal from Totti, but what's the final score? Yeah, 2-0. Italy won. A goal each from Totti and Del Piero. They move closer to European qualification now.

Birds
Attended a talk from AIA today (or rather yesterday). No, it's not about insurance... instead, it's about some career talks. Or at least, they made it sound like one. Nevertheless, that's not important. What's important is that we did some stupid survey about what type of bird (serious!) we are. It's a short 20 questions survey to determine what type of personalities you have... or should I now, call the survey, personality test. 4 types of bird... 1)Eagle - confident, arrogant etc. 2)Peacock - cartoon, humorous, like to talk... 3)Dove - shy, quiet... 4)Owl - wise and thinking. Oh, actually that's just my brief descriptons about the birds, there were more. Guess what I'm categorised under? I think I'm under none... I'm almost about 25% for each bird though the eagle won by a slight margin. Yeah, very slight. So I guess I'm still under "don't know what bird". Anyway, I don't totally believe in such test as u can't just separate a man's personalities into 4 different categories. Yeah, to narrow down I know, but that's not the way, in fact I felt that each and every single person is so very different that if there's really a need for sensible categories, the quantity will be countless. But still, the important lesson learnt today is that, I think it's not important to know what kind of stupid bird you are but what kind of bird others are. And so you can work on them accordingly... oh, I know it will be damn true and useful when we start to work. Some ideas... 1) Eagle likes to be respected and all you need to do is to obey instructions if he's your boss. 2) Peacock. Oh, that's easy. Allow him to talk more and talk more with him too... the things he likes of course. 3)Dove. Show concern... 4)Owl. They're dangerous. Nevertheless, to know these knowledge about them is one thing but to apply is another. Yeah, I know you know, sometimes feelings, yeah, damn feelings, they just get the upper hand of you...

Searching...
Went to city hall today to have my dinner. Since I have finished reading Blood And Gold and is craving for more, I went down to the MPH bookstore at city link. Hmm... eyes went searching under the friction column. Anne Rice, Anne Rice... yeah, found it, found all the books that the bookstore has of her at a corner but no signs of her latest, "Blackwood Farm". It's really not easy to find this book, I must say. I havent even seen the cover yet (though saw it on the net, but never in real life... just yet). Gotta dig this book out for the sake of my stranger friend (she's nuts about vampires) and me as well. The worst, I shall buy it online... Nevertheless, I saw "The Vampire Armand" and I really had the intention to buy it that very moment but later decided that I should go to a few other bookstores before buying as, you never know, I might find Blackwood Farm! So, I put down the book reluctantly and ah... recalling that that's another MPH at Raffles City, went down to check out after doing all the stuff I was needed to do. No luck again... last chance, Times Bookstore at Suntec! And again, no signs of the book. Too bad, in the end, I bought Queen Of The Damned, yeah, because, there's no "The Vampire Armand" over at Times and I felt too tired after the walking and walking thus deciding not to walk all the way back to the damn bookstore to get the book. Nevertheless, I will get Armand one day. I wanted to know what really happened to him after he's captured and what really made him turn his belief. What was he thinking? Another observation about the books, I also noticed that "Pandora" was not easy to be seen. I only saw it at borders once which was an old and torn book. Maybe it's all a coincident that the bookstores I had visited didn't have them. Who knows?

I Can't Get To Sleep
I tried my very best, before tonite, I told myself to sleep early tonite and not stay up too late. I tried, I tried my best but I just can't get to sleep. The forcing of myself to sleep is getting me nowhere. So, I get myself up and sat down here to write... hope it will make me tired and I will be able to fall sleep soon. Finished reading Blood and Gold... Marius and Pandora... and yes, Bianca, what happened to her after that? I don't noe if she's covered in the earlier volumes but even though I noe I can get the answer from some internet sources, I somehow choose not to.

Keepin Up
Overall, today's outing is a short one with lunch, movie, borders and then home. Not much conversation today but at least still tryin to keep up with how the guys r doing. Had a chat with Alex (who went to borders with me) and he told me bout his future plans in the uni... Henry's pretty sick today so tats nothing much and so he went home early today. As for Weiqun, I was making fun on him bout this belladonna forburr(dunnoe if i have spelled it rite) and him. Haha... but no signs of denial from him...!

Sir
Ah... yes, saw somebody at orchard mrt control when I'm on my way back. It's my OC! Tall, burly, muscular, fat (yeah, all in one I will say) and in his early thirties. Mine, mine, never thought I will see him here, outside in the civilian world, and never thought I will see him at any mrt control. I mean to say, doesn't he own a car? And I thought it has became a common portrait that old sign-on personnels own a car. I always have that impression on "sign-ons" tough I know it's never true for all of them. 1)he really doesnt have a car. 2)he doesnt have a license. 3)his car has some problems... lent away, broke down (this is the least possible explanation.) 4)He has a car but it's not easy to park at a place like orchard and so if he lived nearby, he might as well take mrt. (I was gettin out of way, I dont even have any idea bout where he lives.) But I will go for 2 that he doesnt have a license or doesnt like to drive (oh... some ppl does) cause I believe that to get into financial problems for him wouldn't be easy. 5 or 6 thousand a month, government job, and government even provide grants for houses and stuff. Sigh... he looked at me with those expected raised-eyebrows eyes, he always did tat, as if I have done something wrong. Nevertheless, we passed a few lines of hi-bye words and went our separate ways. With one ear phone still attached, the other down for politeness (should be 2 but nah, I couldnt care less)I couldnt even make out wat he was tokin about. Kinda feel quilty after tat, I mean I was leavin bout a month or two and might not have the chance to see him again, should have try to know him as a person more, instead of an OC. Guilt, guilt. Sometimes... u noe, it can be real lonely at the top.

I Feel Like Writing Today
Went Orchard for a show today... Phone Booth. It's a short one, probably about one and a half hour, but no doubt, it's a gd one. I got no idea why my friend had told me that this show sucks. No way, I would give it a 4 stars out of 5. But... it's another "watch once interestin, watch twice boring" show, you wouldnt want to catch it again after watchin it. It's the prop tat attracts and nothing else, tat's why. After the show, I went borders to try my luck on Blackwood Farm. No, no luck again though the staff at the information counter was very helpful. Saw Queen Of The Damned and Pandora instead, yeah, the books I have eyed for some time, but dropped the idea of buyin after seein all of the copies of them in terrible conditions. Crumbled, old and yes, even torn. Bad luck, got nothing in the end and had to make my way back empty handed.

Long Long Break
Gosh, I think I'll be at home every day for the whole of this week. DONT know wat I can do... Maybe I will get myself a new book to read since Blood And Gold is almost to the end... or maybe I can go through wat I had learned in the past, the programmin and stuff... seriously I haven't really touch them and I can hardly remember much. Damn me.

Dreams
I guess now it's time to wake up. Short dreams are ok but long dreams are dangerous. They could make you sleep forever.

Blogger Sucks
Yo, yo, yo, thanks, Blogger, you're really pissing me off...